It was my brother Rick’s birthday yesterday, and once again I found myself in the same impoverished state that produced my other brother’s birthday present last month.
Unlike Andy, and everyone else in the family, Rick is a clutter-hating utilitarian, so I had to make him a gift that was functional. However, Rick is a highly competent adult, and thus has already equipped himself with all the functional objects he might need. Hence he is utterly infernal to find presents for, but he’s a very good egg which means I still want to give him birthday presents.
The problem: what to give the man who has everything he wants/needs, throws out anything he doesn’t, and who, incidentally, lives in a chilly house?
The solution:
Draught-excluder!
Materials: green fabric from my sister-in-law’s late mother’s huge stash of upholstery textiles (the leaf print looked suitably suggestive of scales); scrap of red needlecord for the mouth; white felt teeth; stuffed with rags and half a disembowelled cushion. I sewed pintucks along the back, for the crocodile’s armoured ridges.
Grrrr, terrifying. Of course, my little niecephews immediately grabbed it and started thwacking each other.
Now my mum wants a draught-excluder for Christmas. What sort of beast should I make for her?
Here’s the other birthday thing I made for my brother:
Cross-section:
Interior: chocolate sponge, coffee buttercream. Exterior: Toblerone frosting.
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