The Peckham table

Here’s an easy DIY furniture hack you can do:

• STEP 1. Step into your time machine and move to Peckham from 2004 to 2006.

• STEP 2. On the corner of Bellenden Road and Chadwick Road is a junk shop with some excellent furniture outside (don’t go inside, because it absolutely reeks of dog piss). Buy a large wooden toolbox for £5, because soon that junk shop will be replaced by a key-cutters that does not smell of urine, but is otherwise nothing to be excited about.

• STEP 3. Note how people flytip the good stuff by the big tree at the corner of Chadwick Road and Lyndhurst Way. One night, pick up a black footstool. Rest your feet on it for several years until it starts leaking yellow foam all over the floor.

• STEP 4. Return to the present day.

• STEP 5. Remove the remaining foam and shreds of upholstery from the stool’s top, avoiding all the rusty nails because you don’t want to contract a blood disease.

• STEP 6. Sand the stool legs, then paint with emulsion – I used two coats of Habitat’s Kingfisher. Finish with clear varnish.

• STEP 7. Plonk the toolbox on top.

• STEP 8. Plonk other things on top of your new side-table.

Peckham table


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